i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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