He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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