i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
