if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he laminated a picture of his dick.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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