I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
