So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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