I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish you could order shots online.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize