I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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