i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
