I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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