I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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