he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
