yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Farmville is her only friend.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
