dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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