I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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