Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize