it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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