She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
