I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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