there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
