is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
