shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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