Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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