I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
