No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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