why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize