hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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