What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
