Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
