real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
