idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
