Will you blow on my dice?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
