oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
