he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
