I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
