why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
