I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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