Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I have feelings that need drinking.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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