it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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