covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
