This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
