i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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