So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just had sex bonerless
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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