he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
