I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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