hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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