Plan B is the new Plan A
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
