I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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