Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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