her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
