if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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