I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
