That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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