its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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