He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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