i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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