i don't like sucking hair
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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