Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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