they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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