he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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