quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
